Saturday, August 10, 2013

anyone got a life preserver?

So, yeah, I've been getting more depressed lately, haunted by a lot of the familiar hallmarks of a negative outlook.  The mere passage of time becomes an unbearably cruel trick of nature.  I want to blather on about the details and the mechanics of it all, but that's just the same old mistake I learned as a kid, seeing too many therapists, with this charlatan idea that talking was doing something about it.  Best I've ever felt in my life was taking martial arts, and I think that's largely because I was actually doing something.  Something that worked for me.

I really need to find something else to do.. but it's so hard.  I really thought I'd grow up and have a life someday, but it seems that this isn't meant to be.  I don't get to be a grown-up, with all the freedoms and independence that entails.  It's very depressing.  but I still need to do something.  Something other than play Civ5 all day.

Yeah, but who am I kidding.  I've never been able to do anything, in my entire failure of a life.  And this is the worst fucking city I've ever known.  That really isn't helping.

See? Kinda negative..