Tuesday, April 15, 2014

chag sameach l'culam

I've often thought of myself as half Jewish, but was reminded last night of why there is no such thing.  Why it doesn't matter that bloodlines have split and divided over the centuries.   As is the way of all living things, this is what life does, but while culture evolves and adapts along with it, so it also endures.

As I have wandered through the the twists and turns of my own life, I have often felt like an exile, in my own right.  Impoverished, cut off and cast away by forces others do not understand, uprooted and struggling just to find a niche for myself, just so that I might survive.  As we are reminded, has been a struggle of countless peoples throughout the ages.

I am here with family now, and incredibly grateful for that, but have no idea what I'm going to do next.  I still have no idea how I'm going to hold on.  How I'm going to endure.  I'm trying to be optimistic, I'm trying to assess my options, but fear that no matter what happens, I have no option but to be who I am.

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