The way I play music feels significant.
How disorganized it is. How I just play whatever comes into my head. I attempt to write bits and pieces of a song, but never tie it together. I jump from one thing to another, with complete disregard for continuity. I get better and better, but turning that into anything cohesive always feels just out of reach.
I make up all different parts, on any given day. Tying it together should be the easy part. Remembering it. Being able to play the exact same thing a second time. What kind of craziness would that be?
It seems trivial, compared to the creativity of it, and yet, it's not trivial at all. It seems to be really important.. but for whatever reason, I can't get my head around it. I just play. No matter how good I get, I'm afraid it's still just a lot of random noise.