Tuesday, September 1, 2015

tribulations

Sometimes experiences are unpleasant enough that even after going through it, we might want to forget it ever happened.  Experiences which are pointlessly painful.  Where we go through some absurd gauntlet, without achieving anything at all for it.  It feels like it wears on my ability to keep doing it.  It sucks, it wasn't rewarding, what the hell?

but no, maybe I'll have better luck next time.  You fall off the horse, you get back on, blah blah blah.  Maybe with the right drugs or something, I don't know.  I'm really just barely scraping by, here.

Didn't get the apartment.  After obsessing about it all week.  Being a neurotic basketcase over it.  The week felt like months.  For nothing, rented by someone else, while I waited to hear from someone who could help me actually get there to finalize.  Being dependent on people really sucks.

Not going through it again.  Going to try being more independent, head up there to do it all by myself.  Well, catching a ride up to Vermont with my cousin.  but other than that.  Not really sure how it's going to go.

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