I've noticed a pattern, in my own behavior, where at first, I realize that I might have a knack for something. This inspires me to push myself harder, as it starts looking reasonable that I could be really good at it. If I work at it.
So, I do, but my rate of progress doesn't really improve that much. Not only am I still an awful long way from being really good at much of anything, but I still keep making all sorts of stupid beginner mistakes. So, I push myself harder, but eventually I'm starting to overdo it, sabotaging my progress, not giving myself enough time to process, rest, recover. I get frustrated. I clearly just suck at this. For some inexplicable reason, I don't feel like doing it much longer.
So, I theorize that it might be a good idea to cap my goals, my ideals, even my principles. To push myself about a step beyond what seems to be a realistic baseline - and no more. What seems to matter above all else is that I keep doing it, indefinitely. Without focusing on what I'm trying to achieve, but on the practice itself, as a part of who I am. Just something I do every day. Or every other day. Every Tuesdays and Thursdays. As long as it's something I keep doing month after month, year after year. This seems to be the most integral part of how anyone ever really gets good at anything.
It also just seems to be a healthy way to keep doing healthy things, when I really really don't feel like it. Which is kind of a lot. I sure wish there were something I could do about that.
I also theorize that things like running regularly should help. I must have way more mitochondria by now, right? Still, by the time I've made my morning coffee, I feel like I'm done for the day. I need plenty of time to recover so that I'll be able to make myself another decent cup of coffee tomorrow.
Я много отдыхаю.