circumstances

My cousin is moving away.  They don't know exactly where yet, in the area, I assume, but they're selling the house, and her dog is already living elsewhere.  Walking that dog for her has been a regular part of my life for years now.  I'm relieved not to have to pick up anymore caca for a while, but I'll miss her.  Life's changes always feel so strange to me.

Who are we, if not these circumstances?  Circumstances change, who we'll be changes.  Given that I'm still all too entirely attached to my ego, these changes always feel so surreal to me.  One day big chunks of my life are just entirely different.  People, places, pets, going to a martial arts class or two every week, going to college.  Less confident than ever, but I'm getting better at doing it all anyhow.

My life is a lot different than it was.  I have an appointment with an optometrist tomorrow.  Come to think of it, that will be the first time I've gotten to one on my own, and my eyes have been terrible since I was a kid.  Somehow, I've always found a way to depend on someone else, because doctors scare me.  Especially the ones that are dubious about insurance.  Not sure what gets covered, when it comes to optometry and dentistry.  It's been different everywhere I've been.

I'm novelty seeking in many ways, but terribly change averse.  Somehow, I keep moving around anyhow, making these huge surreal changes now and then.  Going to school has been such a trip.  I'm not really sure if anywhere, where it's taking me, but it has been a massive change in the sorts of information my brain processes every day.

My thyroid seems to be swollen now, a lump in the vicinity of a parathyroid gland, that's nothing serious nine times out of ten, they say.  A common thing that happens to people over forty or somesuch.  Likely another jujitsu injury, but can't be sure.  So, also made an appointment to have that checked out.  Even if it's not serious serious, there's a good chance it's something that does need to be dealt with.  Good thing I'm getting better at dealing with things.

negating entropy

Physics I... W ..but still.