week two

Made it through another class today, but I definitely have attention span issues.  Even had that so very typical moment, where the teacher says, "Josh, ideas?"
There was only one way I could respond.  "Ideas about what?"

I can't remember what I was thinking about that took such priority, but my mind had been elsewhere.  I had no idea what he was asking me, but I recovered quickly.  Just a few words, and oh, right, here's my distractingly decent response.  Good enough that most can forget that fleeting moment of awkwardness.  I think it was something about Buddhism.

I think about things like all this, while I'm trying to think about something more imminently relevant.  At least I pulled it together.  I didn't panic, curling up under the desk to hide.  Real slow like, so no one will notice.  I'm having some doubts as to being able to do this full time, but still think I should give it a try.  Have to deal with getting that rolling soon.

Even went to BJJ class afterwards.  Signed up for a year commitment, so that I could get the cheapest rate.  I feel confident now that I'll be doing this for the foreseeable future.  Although, I'm terrible at holding target pads for people in kickboxing.  I get distracted and well, you can't get distracted when you're doing that.  Even doing the combos myself, my mind drifts elsewhere, and suddenly I'm doing a combo I learned ten years ago.  Muscle memory.  Cerebellum memory, because my frontal cortex is being uncooperative.  I can hit my training partner in the wrong places and that's not good either.

So, as the theory goes, if I keep at it, my attention span will get better.  It just takes a while, and the trick is to do at least well enough that I can keep at it, in the meantime.  I can't piss my training partners off too much, or get poor grades.  So, kind of stressful.