Humans are just animals. When they murder each other, it's the same as when a cat kills a bird. When their governments destroy each other, it's just one anthill invading another. This is life. Bubbles of peculiar energy that form and then pop, form and then pop, with much colliding into one another along the way. Often beautiful, often horrifically brutal and unjust, always a matter of perspective and illusion. As it will always be. Long after we're gone, long after our entire species is gone. I'm not taking sides anymore.
That is my intention, in any case. Intention is an important concept, as I wrote about years ago, as I began school and everything. Not to cast any doubt on the free will issue, intentions have their causes like anything else. They also have their effects. A change in perspective may not be an act of free will, strictly speaking, but intention is about focusing on who we want to be, rather than who we are.
Not to slip into nihilism, this can be about living in accordance with our values. We cannot change the world, for samsaric conditions never really change, but we can we always strive to live as a more benevolent element within it. This, regardless of how much we stumble and fall short, for where we end up will only be as meaningless as any notion of where we are. We do not exist as a fixed point in a given moment, but as an array of vectors, causes and conditions, momentarily manifesting as we form and then pop.
I've thought a lot about what my intentions should be over the last few decades, or however long it's been since this pandemic started. My intentions put on hold indefinitely, I had no idea what I should be doing and aimlessly waiting comes so naturally. I had no direction. The whole framework had collapsed, that I'd depended on so heavily for some much needed reinforcement of my mental health.
I find myself thinking in past tense, although most of this is still true. Case numbers are coming down though, with little reason I can think of for them to ever go up again. Maybe a minor wave next fall, but for the most part, numbers should only come down from here on out, and this is the first time I can say that. Maybe this is putting me in more optimistic spirits.
Or maybe the 36 hour depression fast I did a few days ago has helped with the neurochemistry. Maybe resolving to move on from politics has been a weight from my shoulders. Or maybe it's just that I've stopped using social media.
Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll be miserable again soon enough😀
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2 comments:
I see you canceled all your social media accounts. Do you not care at all what other people are doing or thinking? I can see needing to step away from social media. No explanation? In a pandemic? When it is, for now, the only way to stay connected with people we can't visit? It's worrisome on many levels. This is what I posted on Facebook. Its relevant.
https://www.filmsforaction.org/articles/the-doomer-mentality-dooms-us-to-failure/?fbclid=IwAR0_xNm_1UoSr_CKCF1wdwxuE5d8AzlWVaAqat__P5uM3rB2cAVFv6gu9Vk#.YBr22joOFsI.facebook
I cancel them to stop myself from using them. I find my dependence on social media to be quite harmful. I miss Twitter, because that's where I find people as angry as I am, but I don't want to feed that anger anymore. It's terribly addictive, and I'm trying like hell to quit. Facebook doesn't make that easy, either.
As for the content of the article, I need to focus on finding hope in my own life; in what I can experience, while I have the chance. I invested way too much of myself in carrying on as if we lived in a democratic society, just to have that part of me absolutely crushed. I refuse to lend the system legitimacy anymore. When people are ready to actually fight, maybe I will too. As long as they're talking about voting their way out of the situation, they can go to hell. At this rate, that's exactly where we're going, anyhow. I don't want to see it. I don't want the news and politics. I don't want any part of it anymore.
There are lots of ways to contact me.
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