feather weight

Had to sit out a round to catch my breath during BJJ the other day.  Sat next to the instructor who must have thought I was looking discouraged.  Maybe I was.  He tells me I'm  doing well, getting better or whatever.  

We chatted a bit.  I've been practicing the talking out loud to people.  He mentioned weight classes and how there really isn't any way around how much sense they make.  I've come to terms with that.  Size isn't everything but it sure as hell matters.  Height, strength, weight, reach.  I'm a bit short on all of it.

Aside from that though, I'm old but mostly holding my own against all these younger athletically inclined students with fully functioning pituitary glands.  MMA schools are a little different than traditional martial arts in the type of students they attract.  They tend to be stronger, maybe because  MMA can be more daunting.  So, it's an uphill climb, and I've got a long ways to go before I can assess how much skill it will take to make up the difference.

My interest in martial arts has probably always been rooted in wanting to compensate in a primal sort of way.  I've learned a lot about what works and what doesn't.  A whole lot doesn't.  Even as the months go by, I hardly ever submit anyone.  I'm careful when being reckless would be more advantageous.  I wonder how much of a difference being more aggressive would make, but know winning isn't really the point.  I tap easily, and I try not to muscle anything too much.

Which sounds very enlightened and all, but it's not how dopamine pathways work.  Being aggressive creates a positive endocrine feedback loop, when it goes well.  Losing repeatedly means weathering a rather less positive feedback loop.  For the most part, I've learned to set my ego aside.  I lose a lot, but I'm getting better.  I'm in much better shape than I was six months ago.  I don't feel like I fell down a flight of stairs anymore, for days after every class.  Tonight, I got in a few good take-downs, and an armbar.  Transitioned smoothly from a failed kimura.  Mostly lost, but that I'm having any success at all against experienced students is definitely progress. 

As a smaller grappler, there's a principle in BJJ that's especially apt - space is the enemy of leverage.  If you're on wrong side of an already lopsided equation, it's especially important not to give opponents any space, because it amplifies the disparity.

I have a hard time with this.  It's counter-intuitive, but it can be critical to essentially hug everyone, to make the most of leverage.  To be effective, it often has to be done aggressively.  Wrapping myself around a person and not letting go.  Keeping as much of my weight as I can on their upper body to maintain a position, so that I can attempt a submission. 

This is basic, but typing it out, it doesn't seem so crazy- it can be weird.  I've gotten used to it on some levels.  I hardly think anything of getting someone in closed guard or even spider guard, but my arms are more reluctant.  I'm working on it, but talk about exposure therapy.  Especially when it's been like 90° and so humid :(