Jenny took her own life a few days ago. I had no idea she was even struggling. I haven't spoken to her since we broke up. I just assumed she's probably doing great without me, and would be happier never hearing from me again. There were countless times over the years, when I'd think about contacting her, just to see how she's doing, but I'd burned that bridge for no good reason.
Maybe it wouldn't have made any difference, but I don't know that. Maybe it would have made all the difference. All I know is that I shut down the possibility itself, and I feel sick about that. Suddenly, my perspective is very different. My anxieties feel so trivial, reality stark and imperative. My prideful ego, myopic and childish.
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My god.... So very sorry. Stay in kindness - to yourself and to her.
Yeah, this is going to haunt me for a while. Kindness it seems is a lifelong endeavor. Always working on it, often reminded that I still have quite a ways to go.
Thank you, Sue.
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