hottest summer ever

Been in the nineties lately. Over a hundred in Siberia. Every June has been the hottest June on record, lately, this year probably being no exception. July and August will be worse. Turns out SARS-COV 2 is not seasonal, and does not mind the heat. Anyone gambling on that is about to lose bigly. Cases are surging.. 

but I don't know what that means. 

Surges, waves, and spikes don't seem to be as steep as I'd expected, just dragging on and on.

Still not going anywhere or doing anything, myself. Aside from expanding my gardening habits to include dragon's toe peppers, arugula, scallions, and soon tomatoes. I'm getting better at organizing my grow space and plant sizes. This gives me a few more minutes of stuff to do per day. I can't decide if I should be trying to do more, or if I should stick to just waiting this out. I've been feeling so overwhelmed lately.

I'm feeling aimless. I haven't even been thinking about much. I haven't been posting or blogging about current events or anything else. Maybe the heat isn't helping. Maybe I'm just waiting for the next catastrophe to demand my attention. Or maybe it's just one thing after another, most of it still ongoing, and still exhausting.

The ideal was to be at peace with life's eternal piling on of suffering and impermanence, but I want to make better use of this life than that. I keep forgetting this new normal is not normal. That's why I made the last entry, "timelines" as a reminder. I was doing so much better, before 2020 happened. I can't decide if I have to adapt to this new miserable dystopia, or if I should just hold on.. Things will get better again, right?

Probably not before they get worse. The pandemic surge is looking like it might be pretty serious, may be a real second wave incoming as we head into summer. Incidentally, heat waves contribute to all sorts of insanity and this country is already a smoldering powder keg. I can't tell anymore if I'm wisely sheltering in place or just paralyzed by anxiety.