end times diagnostic criteria

I've been seeing numerous posts and tweets listing off catastrophes of the past six months, much the way I have. I see YouTube videos by people explaining that we're right to feel the world is falling apart, blaming it on capitalism, etc. Right or not, lots of people seem to be feeling this way. These lists remind me of an attempt at diagnosis. What the hell is wrong with me/the world, that I/we feel this way?

2016 was a terrible year. 2017 was worse, 2018 worse still, 2019 even worse, and then 2020 has been so bad, it made all that look trivial. No longer singular events, this is a trajectory. Given the way elections have been going around the world, things are not going to be getting better. Just worse and worse.. but that can't be right, can it? 

My moods have been strange and difficult. I don't know what's going on with me. I'm adapting by prioritizing survival, over all else - I should clarify that I'm referring to mental health here. Survival mode. I'm not stocking a bunker in my backyard or anything. I've never so much as touched a gun.

What little I have to spare for ambitions or hopes, I spend very judiciously. This feels like regression or relapse, because it's how I've lived much of my life, but it's also a survival tactic that might not be so bad. It's terrible for overcoming my situation, it's more like entrenching, so it becomes a vital question, whether or not I'm assessing the situation accurately. 

I have this theory that we're all in fact, just crazy. That yeah, things are bad, but such is life. It will get better, it will get worse, it will go on until it doesn't. The reason we're flipping out might be entirely due to the pandemic. The social isolation, the deferment of all sorts of life goals and strategies, all the uncertainty around how this is going to play out, but knowing it's going to be some degree of pretty damn awful.

I'm inclined to say it's mostly about being cut off from physically being around other people, that this undermines mental health in a very fundamental way. We're largely oblivious to it, and even as we're starved, we don't understand why we're wasting away. We're prone to looking to events and circumstances for something to blame.

Or maybe things really are apocalyptically bad. I honestly don't know and that itself feels nuts.