lost⚓anchor

The longer I go without GH, the worse I get at making decisions. The more I just sit here, unmotivated, waiting for something to change. Helping take care of my father as needed, but otherwise just sitting here. I don't know what to do. 

My routines aren't a luxury, any more than a wheelchair is a luxury. GH alone isn't the issue. My success has not been about self-sufficiency but resourcefulness - and resources. 

My flight here feels like something from another universe, a distant memory, maybe a dream. Every day we sit outside my sister's tiny apartment, overlooking the Honolulu skyline. Like I'm in some sort of paradise while the world is burning.

A year ago, I was fretting about the college classes I'd been taking. I had a knee injury that I didn't yet realize the severity of. I hadn't talked to my father in quite a while, but meant to visit one of these days. I was busy cheering Bernie on. I was still walking my cousin's dog four days a week. I was nowhere near Hawaii.