germantown

I haven't much felt like writing since I got here. It's taken some time for the dust to settle, such that I'm feeling my tired old anxious self again. I've been doing stuff, but have only been to the new gym here twice. I'm still learning their schedule, trying to sort out what days I should be aiming for. They do a lot of things differently. I miss my gym in Vermont. I miss all the people I'll never see again.

Instead of getting this lousy gym more, I've found myself doing other random things. Things which should not preclude me getting to the gym, but I'm always struggling to manage my time and energy levels, even when I should have plenty of both. I've been trying to say yes to everything people ask me to do. I should be doing stuff.

I took part and contributed to a vegan food swap last night. I made mujaddara. I thought it was one of the better dishes on the table. A few days ago, I got stung by a wasp, trying to do yard work. The woman I'm renting the room from has some pretty severe injuries from a scooter accident, so I help her with things. She's a temporarily disabled dog-walker and cat-sitter. I went to meet a nice couple who need a cat-sitter. On Friday, I'm supposed to go meet another couple that need a house-sitter, in addition to cat sitting. I had to get up early this morning to buy a transit card, because they have to be bought in person and they close the sales offices at 10:30am. My third pepper seed germinated today. 

I'm doing stuff, but I'm also feeling exhausted and plagued by anxiety. These are all dead end distractions. Nothing can be routine here, everything I'm doing is chaos. I'm falling apart. I can't handle it. I'm fasting for the first time tonight, since I got here. I'm trying. I'm always trying. I'm so tired.