unstable

That I am emotionally unstable is not reason to dismiss what I say, but rather all the more reason to expect me to behave irrationally. I have been extremely unstable lately. I am having massive difficulties adapting to having my entire life ripped away from me, from everything I was doing, to everything I owned, to all my fragile social connections. 

My whole life was structured around building up those things and now what am I doing. Of course I'm falling apart here. It's insulting to tell me this isn't a catastrophe. Do you think I didn't have much to lose, so what difference does it make if I lose everything? How fucked up is that. That was a $500 bicycle, not some easily replaced piece of trash.

I call affordable housing a mirage, because they put people on these years long waiting lists and actively look for excuses to throw them off. It takes forever and feels incredibly unreliable. In many states it's literally worse than useless, due to requirements that applicants not be in anything resembling actual poverty.

This is why I hadn't applied sooner. I didn't think I needed it, and know it's a last resort that might not even work out. Still, some would blame me for my own homelessness, for not applying seven years ago, when it was last mentioned to me. Sorry you feel guilty for being so petty and selfish, but that's not my problem anymore.

Aside from being unreliable, that it may take a year makes it feel like it will never happen. So much can go wrong in that time, from where I can live in the meantime, to how I handle this situation dragging on month after month while I fall apart. Turns out though, there is no Vermont residency requirement. That was an assumption that simply isn't true. I finally called and asked outright and was told that I can move to another state, I can officially change my address, none of that matters as long as any mail they send me doesn't bounce.

What a massive relief. I thought I was at risk of losing eligibility, and that it would get worse the longer I'm not living in Vermont, but that whole concern turns out to be unfounded.