adapt or die

Some locales on the autistic spectrum often look a lot like trauma, because for those of neurodivergent sensitivities, neurotypical life can be traumatic. We get PTSD just trying to go to middle school. The stressors that callous the average person can have the opposite effect on those who are more vulnerable. 

A critical distinction between being anywhere on the spectrum and mental illness is that autism is not an illness one can contract. It is lifelong. It is not something that develops in response to anything in the environment. No one comes down with a case of autism. To fight against depression or anxiety is the only way you're going to beat it. To fight against autism is to fight against ourselves. No one beats autism.

A person with phobias and anxieties needs to confront them. They need to promote an adaptive response in the brain, wherein we learn to deal. A person on the spectrum may have anxieties and phobias that can be dealt with similarly, but they also have fundamental differences in how they process their experiences in the world. Stressing those differences does not produce an adaptive response, because it's a bridge too far. When life can't meet a challenge, it tries to shrink away from it. We run, we hide, we freak the fuck out. We get overwhelmed and shutdown entirely.

If you try to force an autistic person to function as a neurotypical, you aren't helping. You injure, maim, and literally kill them. We have basic survival needs that we can't meet, if we can't navigate society and get no support. We suffer brutal real-world material consequences, while the closest thing to support we get it is the incessant advice to try being more normal.