north star

It is nice to want something that is attainable. I think this is why people with depression tend to get carried away with basic needs. They will turn to food, because we get hungry a few times a day, and if we're fortunate enough, have the food to do something about it. Likewise, we get tired and sleep, if we can. Sleeping too late and too much, we indulge basic impulses to excess for an easy and always attainable reward loop. 

In a person who feels nothing else is attainable, these appeals to our basic needs can be thin gruel to someone with nothing else. As is typical of addiction, we overindulge because it's inadequate. We don't stop if it's all we've got. In depression, we might suffer anhedonia or apathy, we often lose interest, we lack confidence, sometimes for good reason. We always get hungry and sleepy.

The desire to fight is not quite a basic need akin to eating or sleeping, but it seems to be similarly basic and primal. It's something I tap into to keep myself interested in this one thing I do. No matter how depressed I get, I eat, I sleep, and I want to get better at hitting people.