hang the dj

As I understand it, negativity is not very popular. In expressing something, there can even be this underlying presumption of advocacy. That is, why say something, if you don't think it's right? "Right," being intentionally impressionistic in its ambiguous meaning here. A blanket term covering ground from ethically just, to scientifically accurate, such that in some contexts, it's all the same to us. It's what we believe.

I don't have beliefs. Agnostic, not just about gods, but in all things. "I" itself needs better definition now, because some aspects of what could be defined as the self require belief to even function. "I" is a collection of aspects. I prefer to identify more closely with the parts that do the reasoning, to the parts that just flail around irrationally - not due to some failing of rationality, but because that is how the brain works.

Is this difficult to understand? Am I typing gibberish here, as far as anyone else can tell? I think this is pretty straight forward, and I've explained it such that it should seem common sense. That assessment may involve some miscalculation.

Being honest about the less rational parts of ourselves can be difficult. I am most rational when my brain has everything it needs to be performing at the peak of what I'm familiar with. Metabolically and environmentally. When my brain is impaired, distracted, lacking in food or sleep, I'm less keen on identifying that as "me," per se. You can try to look at it one way or another, but the truth is that it just is what it is, all of it. It's how it works. Self is just a concept.

In any social element, I am also trying to connect. This is what communication is about, as far as I can tell. Expanding our understanding of what's going on beyond ourselves, and emotionally connecting with each other. I don't really understand where the positivity and cheering up bit comes in, but that's because I have difficulty connecting with it.

I'm negative when that's what's honest. That's necessary to either end, logically or emotionally, to understanding one another. The alienation depression causes isn't some delusion of mental illness. If being honest about how we think and feel inhibits connection, the only alternative is to be dishonest; to put up a facade. Depressed people do it all the time, and it doesn't go well. 

The problem for someone on the other side of the equation is that it is difficult, and even harmful to connect with such negativity. It's understandable to want to believe that this is all a matter of choices. Sometimes it helps to focus more on others, and less on ourselves, one way or another. Other times, this is like saying we should focus more on running a marathon and less on our broken legs.