probably nothing

I keep telling myself it's probably nothing yet again, but this time, it feels unconvincing. That doctor's appointment on the 14th can't come soon enough. I'm scared. I've been having symptoms for months, but had a hell of a time getting clear enough to make an appointment. I didn't want to deal with this over zoom. It's going to be difficult enough talking to my doctor about it in person.

I knew damn well that I should act quickly, but I just couldn't. Not on top of everything else. For six months, I've been fretting, but it was subtle and sporadic enough that maybe it wasn't blood. Maybe it was just something I ate. It's more often and unequivocal now, though. So, not the sort of thing that's just going to go away. Shitting blood is probably nothing though, right?

Life is finally supposed to be getting less awful, goddammit.