Just got the biopsy results. Adenocarcinoma. Still waiting to hear from the doctor, my only question being whether I'm in the clear now that the malignant tumor has been removed. Guess I'm officially a cancer survivor.
. . .
Doctor says he probably got all of it, but it was invasive so he can't be sure, and I'll need another colonoscopy in 3-6 months to see if the cancer has taken root in the lining. If so, I'll need surgery to remove part of my colon. He wants me to talk to a surgeon about possibly doing that anyhow, just to be sure.
Except I'll never be sure, because now that we know my body is prone to doing this, we know it's likely to keep happening. They tell people with depression to hang in there, that it will get better. I've spent my whole life waiting, trying, failing to make it any better. It just keeps getting worse.
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