priorities

Training has become my whole life. Before training, I had no life. If I have to stop, that will end my life. This is not simply a special interest that I'm being hyper-reactive to losing. It's me looking at the causal array of consequences that will occur. There's no reason I'd have to stop training, as long as I find a place to live. This is directed at those who think giving it up is a reasonable option to suggest, for any reason. You don't understand what you're suggesting.

My entire life has been swallowed up by this state I refer to as having no life. It is not some cutesy catch phrase for having the sads. To explain it though, how far back do we have to go? Do I need to explain the neurophysiology of why humans need social connection and a sense of purpose or direction in their lives? Do I need to dig up statistics showing how many people literally die when they lose these things? Do I need to remind anyone that my own mental health is pretty far from being stable? Do I need to explain how getting myself to the gym has been the only thing holding me together for years, or why I can't just take up crochet, instead?

I don't know where to start. Keep it succinct and nobody understands. Go into detail, and nobody listens. I've lost so much these last few years. I hold onto this, all that I have left, with everything I have. It's the only hope I have left that my life will get better. I have no reason to live without it. 

My priorities are fine. If I deprioritize getting to the gym, everything else falls apart.